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The Life of a Surrogate

The life of a surrogate is marked by a unique blend of altruism and the profound impact of assisting others in their journey to parenthood. From the initial decision to explore surrogacy, surrogates embark on a comprehensive process that involves thorough screenings, interviews, and matching with Intended Parents. Once matched, the surrogate undergoes medical evaluations and legal processes to ensure a clear and comprehensive agreement, setting the foundation for a collaborative and well-supported surrogacy journey. The life of a surrogate is often a transformative and emotionally rich journey, driven by the noble desire to help others build the families they dream of. Many surrogates also find that surrogacy helps them achieve personal or financial goals, in addition to the altruistic rewards.

Making the Decision to Explore Surrogacy:

Many women decide to become surrogates out of a desire to help others experience parenthood. This decision often arises from a combination of empathy, compassion, and a willingness to contribute to the joy of starting a family.

Surrogates must do their own research prior to getting too far ahead of themselves to understand the basic medical and legal requirements. Any prospective surrogates will eventually be cleared by medical and legal professionals.

Matching with Intended Parents:

Either via an agency, friends groups, or self-matching via a site like, a surrogate will interview prospective Intended Parents in hopes of matching. This process involves mutual selection, where both parties get to know each other through interviews and sharing information about their reasons for pursuing surrogacy, medical history, and details about their families. It’s crucial for both the surrogate and Intended Parents to feel comfortable with the match.

Medical Clearance:

Once a match is made, the surrogate undergoes medical and psychological evaluations. These assessments ensure that she is physically and emotionally prepared for the surrogacy journey. The Intended Parents may also undergo similar screenings.

The medical and psychological screenings for surrogates play a crucial role in ensuring the well-being of the surrogate throughout the surrogacy journey. The medical evaluation involves a comprehensive assessment of the surrogate’s health and reproductive history. This includes a detailed examination of her reproductive organs, hormone levels, and overall physical health. Surrogates typically undergo fertility treatments to synchronize their menstrual cycles with the intended mother or egg donor, preparing their bodies for embryo transfer. The medical screenings aim to identify any potential health concerns, ensuring that the surrogate is physically capable of carrying a pregnancy to term.

In addition to medical evaluations, psychological screenings are a vital component of the surrogacy process. Surrogates undergo psychological assessments conducted by mental health professionals experienced in reproductive issues. These assessments explore the surrogate’s mental and emotional well-being, ensuring she is prepared for the emotional challenges that may arise during the surrogacy journey. Psychologists may assess the surrogate’s understanding of the emotional aspects of surrogacy, her support system, and her ability to cope with potential stressors. This ensures that the surrogate is mentally resilient and prepared to navigate the complexities of carrying a child for another family.

The combination of medical and psychological screenings serves to create a comprehensive profile of the surrogate, addressing both her physical and emotional suitability for surrogacy. These screenings not only benefit the surrogate, but also contribute to the overall success and well-being of the Intended Parents and any unborn child. The thorough evaluation process helps establish a foundation of trust between the surrogate and Intended Parents, fostering a supportive and collaborative environment for the entire surrogacy journey.



Legal Contracts:

The legal phase of a surrogacy journey is a critical aspect that ensures the rights, responsibilities, and expectations of all parties involved, including the surrogate. Once a suitable match is made and medical clearances are obtained, the legal process begins with the drafting, reviewing, and finalization of legal contracts. Surrogates have their own legal representation (paid for by Intended Parents) to ensure their interests are protected throughout the journey.

Legal contracts in surrogacy cover a wide range of topics, including compensation, medical decisions, potential risks, and the Intended Parents’ rights and responsibilities. The contracts also outline the surrogate’s obligations and commitments during the pregnancy. The goal is to create a clear and comprehensive agreement that protects all parties and minimizes the potential for legal disputes.

During the legal phase, surrogates may work closely with their attorneys to fully understand the terms of the contract and to address any concerns or questions they may have. This phase ensures that the surrogate is fully aware of her rights and responsibilities, providing a legal framework that supports a smooth and well-defined surrogacy journey. Legal professionals play a crucial role in facilitating open communication between the surrogate and Intended Parents, fostering a relationship built on trust and mutual understanding.

After the birth of a child, additional legal steps may be required to establish parentage. Depending on jurisdiction, surrogates may need to play a part in the legal processes designed to ensure the Intended Parents are legally recognized as the child’s legal parents.  

Overall, the legal phase of a surrogacy journey is designed to protect the rights of all parties involved.

Medical Procedures:

The medical process that surrogates undergo is a carefully orchestrated series of procedures designed to optimize the chances of a successful pregnancy.  The surrogate is prescribed hormonal medications to prepare her uterus for implantation. The embryo transfer then takes place with the hopes that implantation will occur.

Throughout the medical process, surrogates receive close monitoring and support from fertility specialists and healthcare professionals. Regular check-ups, ultrasounds, and hormonal assessments are conducted to track the progress of the pregnancy. The goal is to ensure the surrogate’s health and the well-being of the developing fetus. The medical process is a collaborative effort involving the surrogate, Intended Parents, and medical professionals, working together to achieve a successful and healthy pregnancy.

Pregnancy and Prenatal Care:

Once the embryo is successfully implanted, marking that the surrogate is pregnant, she enters a phase of comprehensive prenatal care. Regular check-ups, conducted by her obstetrician-gynecologist (OB-GYN), become a crucial aspect of ensuring the surrogate’s health and monitoring the progress of the pregnancy. These appointments include ultrasounds, hormonal assessments, and other routine prenatal tests to track the development of the fetus and address any potential health concerns. The surrogate’s physical and emotional well-being are prioritized throughout this period, with the medical team providing the necessary guidance and support to optimize the chances of a healthy and successful pregnancy.

The involvement of the Intended Parents during the prenatal care phase varies based on mutual preferences. Many Intended Parents choose to actively participate in medical appointments, allowing them to witness the milestones of the pregnancy and stay informed about the well-being of their future child. This collaborative approach fosters a sense of shared responsibility and connection between the surrogate and the Intended Parents, creating a supportive environment for the duration of the surrogacy journey. Open communication and shared experiences during prenatal care contribute to the overall positive and fulfilling nature of the surrogacy process.

Birth and Post-Birth Process:

The culmination of the surrogacy journey is marked by the surrogate giving birth, a momentous event that is often attended by the Intended Parents. The presence of the Intended Parents during the delivery allows them to be actively involved in the birthing experience and witness the joyous arrival of their child. This shared moment becomes a significant bonding experience, reinforcing the collaborative nature of the surrogacy journey. The surrogate’s contribution is acknowledged and celebrated, creating a meaningful connection between the surrogate and the Intended Parents.

Post-birth, the nature of the relationship between the surrogate and the Intended Parents varies widely. Some parties choose to maintain a close connection, continuing to share updates, photos, and milestones of the child’s life. This ongoing relationship is often built on mutual respect and appreciation for the surrogate’s role in helping the Intended Parents achieve parenthood. On the other hand, some surrogates and Intended Parents may prefer a more distant relationship, with communication limited to essential updates. Regardless of the level of connection, open communication is essential to navigate post-surrogacy dynamics successfully. Clear expectations, boundaries, and mutual understanding contribute to a positive post-surrogacy relationship, allowing all parties to reflect on the journey with gratitude and satisfaction.

FAQ: The Surrogacy Journey

Why do women decide to become surrogates?

Many women decide to become surrogates out of a desire to help others experience parenthood. This altruistic decision often stems from a combination of empathy, compassion, and a genuine willingness to contribute to the joy of starting a family.

What is the surrogacy matching process like?

Surrogates can be matched with intended parents through agencies, friends groups, or self-matching platforms like The matching process involves interviews, sharing information about medical history and reasons for pursuing surrogacy, ensuring both parties feel comfortable with the match.

What medical and psychological screenings do surrogates undergo?

Surrogates undergo comprehensive medical evaluations, including assessments of reproductive health and fertility treatments to prepare for embryo transfer. Psychological screenings ensure surrogates are emotionally prepared for the journey, assessing their understanding of surrogacy’s emotional aspects and support systems.

What legal steps are involved in surrogacy?

The legal phase includes drafting, reviewing, and finalizing contracts that cover compensation, medical decisions, and the rights and responsibilities of all parties. Surrogates have their own legal representation to protect their interests. Post-birth, legal processes may be required to establish parentage, ensuring the intended parents are legally recognized.

 What is the medical process like for surrogates?

The medical process involves synchronization of menstrual cycles, fertility treatments, embryo transfer, and careful monitoring of the surrogate’s health through regular check-ups, ultrasounds, and hormonal assessments. The goal is to optimize the chances of a successful and healthy pregnancy.

 How are Intended Parents involved during prenatal care?

During prenatal care, Intended Parents may actively participate in medical appointments, fostering a shared responsibility and connection with the surrogate. Open communication and shared experiences contribute to a positive and fulfilling surrogacy journey.

What happens during and after birth?

The surrogate gives birth, often attended by the Intended Parents. Post-birth, the relationship between the surrogate and Intended Parents varies. Some maintain a close connection, sharing updates and milestones, while others prefer a more distant relationship. Open communication is key to navigating post-surrogacy dynamics successfully.


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Bridget Myers

Bridget Myers grew up in small town in Maryland. She started her career as a substitute teacher before meeting the love of her life and moving to the suburbs of Chicago. She has a passion for dogs and painting. Bridget got involved in Surrogacy Place after researching surrogacy for her best friend. Since joining the team at Surrogacy Place, she has developed a passion for advocating on behalf of Intended Parents and surrogates and doing her part for meaningful reform in the industry.