Surrogacy Stories from Surrogates
Curious about what it’s like to be a surrogate? Reading about surrogacy stories and experiences of experienced surrogates can help potential surrogates gain a better understanding of what to expect and prepare themselves mentally and emotionally.
Sarah’s Surrogacy Story:
My name is Sarah and I just finished my first surrogacy journey. I met my IPs Emily and Scott through a mutual friend at work. They were a married couple that had been struggling with unexplained infertility for years. I’m pretty sure they went through 10 (!!!!!!!) rounds of IVF before they learned about surrogacy.
Emily and Scott were locals and we instantly connected and eventually became very close. We had shared values and they were fully supportive of my stance on termination and knew that I was personally not comfortable with abortion. They were also really enthusiastic about my natural birth plan when I told them I did home births for both of my two own kids.
After medical clearance and legal papers were drawn up, we attended appointments at their fertility clinic together and marveled at the miracle of science as their highest-graded embryo was carefully placed inside my uterus. Their Reproductive Endocrinologist was really supportive as she had worked with over a dozen surrogates in the past.
Even though I was told to wait for the official pregnancy test, I stocked up on dollar-store tests and found out I was pregnant 8 days after transfer! I immediately called Emily and she was excited but cautious given her history with infertility. The pregnancy was officially confirmed shortly after. I will never forget Emily’s face at the gender ultrasound when the tech told her “it’s a girl!”
My surrogacy pregnancy was fairly uneventful, though I did have more nausea than with my two “keepers”. Overall, I love the feeling of being pregnant. I definitely don’t want more kids of my own to take care of, so surrogacy gives me a chance to enjoy being pregnant while not creating more kids of my own. Plus, I get to help amazing people like Emily and Scott.
I can’t describe the feeling of what it was like to deliver Sarah (a name they picked out before meeting me!). I remember looking right into Emily’s eyes immediately following the delivery and the look of awe and gratitude is something I will never forget. I saw Emily whisper thank you to me as they handed Sarah over to her to hold for the first time.
It’s only been a couple of months since little Sarah was born. Since I’m supplying breastmilk, I see the family regularly. People ask me all the time “how could you give up your baby?!”, but the truth is, I didn’t, it’s not my baby. I am not biologically related to Sarah, she never belonged to me.
I would love to be a surrogate again and I hope to do a sibling journey for Emily and Scott!
Abby’s Surrogacy Story:
Being a surrogate is an interesting experience because you get a lot of judgement from people who don’t understand surrogacy or think that I’m being exploited or forced into surrogacy. It’s really offensive because I’m an intelligent woman and have always made my own decisions. Although it’s hard for some people to believe, I *want* to be a surrogate. I *love* being a surrogate. Since I do surrogacy on my own terms, I’m hardly being exploited.
I am a labor and delivery nurse in Wisconsin. I first learned about surrogacy when I met a surrogate delivering at my hospital. I immediately felt like surrogacy was something I was born to do. The surrogate was incredible, she had done three prior journeys and was so enthusiastic about being a surrogate. I remember her saying these exact words “you should do it! It’s the best thing you’ll ever do!”.
For my first journey, I had incredible Intended Fathers. They were from Belgium and Australia, but were living in London. I was with an agency at the time and immediately knew from their profile that they were a great match for me. After chatting with them for the first time I was even more excited about surrogacy.
I think surrogacy can be a lot of hurry up and wait. The medical clearance went smoothly, but legal took forever. The lawyer I chose was not at all responsive (I never worked with her again) and I think it took 6 months to have a final surrogacy contract done. Once the agency and the Intended Fathers did all the administrative stuff, we scheduled the embryo transfer. Both IFs were able to come to Wisconsin for that and it was incredible meeting them in person for the first time, though I honestly felt like I knew them already from how much we talked leading up to the transfer.
Unfortunately, the first transfer was not successful. I was absolutely heartbroken for my IFs, but they handled it so well. They definitely did not blame me and we immediately agreed to try again. I actually kind of “knew” the second time that it worked, it’s hard to explain, but I had this very strong gut feeling. When the pregnancy was confirmed, I was overjoyed. And then I found out I was having twins!
I was both nervous and excited about carrying twins. We only used one embryo so it was a bit of a shock, though I obviously knew embryos can split. My IFs were super supportive and asked if there was anything they could do to support me even beyond what was in the contract.
I won’t say carrying twins was easy, but it was manageable. We ended up having to do an emergency C-section because one of the twin’s heart rates fell below a level that the doctor was comfortable with. The boys were absolutely perfect, and the dads could not have been more excited. One of the dads’ moms flew in too and she was extremely friendly and hilarious. Those kids are so loved and have the best family. Without my help these two amazing guys would not be able to be parents and they absolutely should be. It was an honor to help them achieve their dream of having a family.
I did two more journeys and decided to do them independently. I knew the ropes and didn’t feel like I needed an agency for anything. Plus, I’m the type of person that knows what I want, including who I want to match with.
If you’re considering surrogacy, talk to experienced surrogates. They will tell you the good and the bad. Although needles and hormones are not fun, surrogacy is incredibly fulfilling. I was made to do this. I’m so lucky my husband and my own kids are supportive. I think if more women knew about surrogacy they would love to do their own journeys.
Megan’s Surrogacy Story:
Have you seen the movie ‘Baby Mama’? It’s not like that. 😊
When I was pregnant with my first child, I remember telling my husband that I wanted to be pregnant all the time and that I loved being pregnant. He of course explained that we couldn’t have a dozen kids which obviously I knew. I heard about surrogacy from a friend in Israel. She was looking to be a surrogate and asked me what I thought. I told her it sounded amazing, how do I sign up, etc. After our conversation I googled surrogacy and started learning as much as I could about being a surrogate. Once I felt ready, I had a conversation with my husband to see what he thought. He was not on board at all at first. I think this is because if you know nothing about surrogacy it sounds rather shocking.
Over the next few months, I sent articles and information for him to read. Eventually, my husband came around and later on, he was super into it. He now loves telling people that I’m a surrogate!
My first Intended Parents were in California so they weren’t close by. That didn’t really matter though because I didn’t need them at my regular check ups and other appointments. I did fly out to San Diego a few times to meet them and also for appointments at their fertility clinic. I also had to stay in San Diego for two days following embryo transfer because their Reproductive Endocrinologist was a big believer in bed rest as a way to increase implantation odds.
I became pregnant on the first attempt which was an incredible feeling. I was nervous because I didn’t want to let them down. Everything went exceptionally well though and I used the same Ob-gyn that I used with my own kids so I was very comfortable with my care.
My Intended mom stayed in town starting at around 35 weeks since she didn’t want to chance travel delays and not being there for the birth of her daughter. Her husband flew in immediately when I started contractions. They were both there for the birth. I was not surprised when I met their daughter for the first time and she had a full head of hair because I had severe heartburn throughout the pregnancy!
I’m not joking, as I was recovering from the delivery my husband said to me “hey, do you want to do this again?”. The funny thing is, I definitely already knew I would.
